Growth is never ending - Pain does not have to be
In this journey, we call life, I’ve found two things to be true:
Growth can (and in my opinion should be) never ending.
Pain does not have to be.
The more people I have spoken to these past few weeks, the more I have come to realise that pain itself is an addiction, rife within out society.
I wonder, is it the symptom of living in such “good times”
Let’s face it, compared even to our Grandparents, we really do have it great. And yet depression, suicide, anxiety - they are continually on the increase.
When we consider the 6 human needs - as described by Tony Robbins, there are two main factors that contribute to our pain - or indeed lack there of.
And, when we take time out to analyse, understand, and appreciate what’s really going on in our world, we can begin to make the changes, destroy the habit pain and move into a life filled with never ending joy and ecstasy.
The needs Robbins refers to are:
Love / Connection
He details that the first four needs can be achieved in perceived positive and negative ways, as well as in our own minds - as such, we are able to “Fool” ourselves into believing we are satisfying these needs.
The last two however, that is Growth, and Contribution, they can not be “Faked” we either are contributing to society / the world / something outside of ourselves - or, we are not. And, we are either growing - or, we are not.
There is no such thing as standing still. Therefore, if we are not growing, we are in fact dying.
More so, if a behaviour that we have, again whether it is perceived positive or negative, satisfies more than two of the needs, at a level of 6 - 10 (on a 1 - 10 scale), then that behaviour can be assumed to be a habit.
Why do I believe pain itself is a habit we are cultivating?
Let’s have a look at it…
If we consider pain as a form of heartache. Whoa is me, it’s not fare, why can’t it be different, nobody loves me, I’m not lovable etc etc etc
When we consider the 6 needs as described above, immediately we can see that needs 5 and 6 are NOT being met. But what about the other four?
Variety..? Yes - when you can go from feeling pretty ok in the world, to thinking a thought and cycling your emotions around like a washing machine.. the need for Variety in your life is being met. The greater the swing in emotional state that you can create - the higher up that scale of satisfying that need you can get. All the way from Happy one moment, to suicidal the next - That’s a hell of a swing and will top out the satisfaction of Variety pretty bloody quickly.
Comfort..? Surely if we care satisfying Variety so greatly, we can’t also satisfy comfort? Wrong. Absolutely you can. When those feelings are familiar to your unconscious mind, when you get love and support fro your friends or family, when you self sooth or talk yourself down.. each and every one of these is satisfying the need for comfort in your life. The more attention, focus and importance given the swing in emotional state, the greater up the scale need is being met.
Love / Connection…? I’m sure it is obvious that if you are in emotional turmoil, it certainly isn’t loving to yourself. But is is connection to self. Part of the self soothing and the attention from others as mentioned within comfort, it steps over in to the realms of Love/Connection too. When the feeling is all too familiar, and there is comfort in that, being alone even, in a self soothing state - That is connection.
Significance…? Though from the outside it may seem as if significance would be the last need to be satisfied by the emotional roller coaster of heartache, actually, from an egoic, the emotional roller coaster you are choosing to ride, it’s giving the ego all the significance it needs. Boy, those emotions wouldn’t be so strong if such a sense of let down, dissatisfaction and disappointment were not present.
Can you see… when we are feeling pain it is because we are OUT OF ALIGNMENT with our true selves. The little person inside us may be having a complete temper tantrum / meltdown. But you don’t have to join in!
If that little person inside were a real living child, would you join in and breakdown with them, or would you hold them, love on them, and allow them to work through the emotions to see the sun shining on the other side?
This is what I want for you too. For yourself.
Because when you do that, you give to yourself the total satisfaction of all of the first FIVE of the needs, leaving your mind, body and soul able to turn up to the rest of your life in a space of contribution.
And then, rather than a continuous downward spiral of perceived negative, life sucking emotional rollercoaster states, you vibration begins to lift.
You let go of the Whoa is me and move into a space of “how can I serve”
And I don’t mean you have to set sail on a boat for Greenpeace.
YOUR LOVE giving out to the world, is more powerful than you can imagine.
LOVE itself, IS THE WAY.
From a smile to a passing shopper, words of encouragement to a child, petting a dog, gifting to charity, feeding the birds… and so much more.
What will you do differently today?
How are you going to feed YOUR NEEDS.
YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
And that CHOICE IS YOURS.
Until next time.