I asked the newest members of my Facebook Group to drop me a comment about what they would most like to be different in their relationship and I promised to cover their “issue” in a post of some description.
This particular comment was the desire to have a deeper connection with their spouse.
Connection, in my experience, is one of the “Top Three” issues in relationships, which is why I chose to start here.
Connection is literally the difference that makes the difference when it comes to successful and joyful relationships, and it means different things to different people.
When it seems like connection is gone, all too often, it feels like the whole relationship is over. Where misunderstanding, after hurt feeling, following breakdown in communication, can build moment by moment, like a snowball down a hill, building until the avalanche of emotions seems simply too much for either partner to breakthrough, for risk of getting seriously hurt.
All without realising the loss of connection is like a cancer to their relationship, slowly and surely eating away from the inside. That which, without diagnosis and treatment, will surely mean death to any sense commitment left in the relationship.
For some, connection is mental; the ability to talk about everything and nothing. To chat about their day, the children, politics, the weather. To have serious conversations without triggering negative emotions and to have friendly banter when there are differences of opinion on the things that don’t really matter.
For others connection is physical; for some affection, the gentle touch of the shoulder as you walk by, the brush of a hand while driving, cuddling up next to each other on the sofa, or a welcome home hug and kiss. To others it’s the pure intimacy, joyous, sensual and powerful sex that joins two humans like nothing else on earth.
For some, it’s spiritual; to be able to “feel” the other person, understand their emotions, without words. To “know” what the other person is thinking or feeling and to be able to act appropriately to their needs.
And to many, they want all three.
Whatever it means to you, without connection, the relationship is surely headed for disaster.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
When there are still two of you in the game and when either one of you is brave enough to step forward, call out the malignancy for what it is - without blame - and stand up for the relationship you know you both deserve - THAT’S when one person can save a marriage.
THAT’S when one person can be the change. Take control and pull the relationship back from the brink.
Am I saying it’s easy? No, of course not. But, I am saying it can be done, and it doesn’t take both of you bursting through the veil of vulnerability together for success to be guaranteed.
So what does it take?
Firstly, it takes courage. The ability to put down all defense mechanisms and trust that each and every step you take, towards love, empathy, understanding and truth - for yourself first, and then for your relationship, will take you one giant leap towards the relationship you dream of and deserve.
It takes letting go of the past. Understanding that you were both doing the best you could with the resources you had at any given time, and that going forward, forgiveness is your ally. Not for them actually, but for you. To release that energy and to no longer allow it to have it’s choke hold on you or your relationship.
And then it takes focus. On what you truly want. To be all that you can be as an individual; for yourself as the perfect individual you are now, so that the relationship can grow in ways it has never been able to until now. To show up as the best version of you so that everything that follows is congruent with your truth.
If you would like to learn the skills to open up, to forgive, to love, and to understand in the ways needed to ensure your relationship now and in the future can be everything you dream and deserve it to be, then get in touch.
I have just a few slots left before the end of the year so if you want change and you want it now, book a call with me now.
During this call we will take a good look at what’s working, and what’s not working in your relationship - believe me, it’s not what you think. Then, we’ll chat about what you want it to be like. If we’re a good match and I can help you to reach your dreams and goals, I will absolutely show you how, and if not, then I’ll show you that too.
Is 2019 going to be the year you take charge of your life and your relationship? If so, book your call today.
It could be the best 45 minutes you’ve spent on your relationship, ever.
And if you’d like to join our growing community focused on true love, you can do that by clicking HERE